My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
