Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
