I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
