i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize