stop calling my apartment porn island.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
