the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
