are you still at the devil's house?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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