Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize