you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
