it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Green mimosas i think yes
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
