We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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