I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize