You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
