I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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