Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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