Rock
Scissors
Fuck
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
