I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
