K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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