Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
