I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
