My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Randomize
