Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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