i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
