sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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