You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
