shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
