Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
