i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just want nice things and good sex
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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