Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
