im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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