I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
