omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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