I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
