So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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