would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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