2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
