dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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