Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
