Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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