I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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