Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
