You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
