Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Randomize
