sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
