Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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