You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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