i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
