Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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