...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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