Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
