you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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