just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
