Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
there's paper in my vomit.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
