Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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