i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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