worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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