tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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