Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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