Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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